All My Puny Sorrows

A truly moving tale on the difficult topic of suicide. It touches on both sides of the argument -- do you have a basic human right to choose the time, place and manner of your demise, or does the rest of the world have a right and obligation to stop you from actually doing it? It asks the question, "Is suicide a selfish act or a selfless act?" This book is extremely well-written, and recommended by a friend who definitely knows the perfect book when you need it. "The right book at the right time," he says. This is a great book for someone who has been there and tried and failed, as it perfectly describes the hellish aftermath following a failed attempt. The sadness and ugliness of it all. It's also a truly great book for someone who has lost someone. You will finally understand their desperation to find peace. You will leave it knowing that it was never about anyone other than them and what they wanted more than anything in the world. It helps you to understand that it's not something you ever could have prevented. It's a story about wanting something so bad, you would do anything to get it. This book is not for the faint of heart. It is, however, a truly is a heartwarming story that I highly recommend. I am so glad I bought this book - it helped me understand. It is definitely on my "reread" list, probably many times over.

A la Toews, a compelling read on a topic that has flooded the media as a result of the deaths of numerous talented and famous people who succumbed to 'mental illness', addiction and/or chronic depression, and what it is to live burdened with the idea of dying on a daily basis. Toews details the lives of one family dealing with their talented and tormented daughter/sister/wife's desire to end her life, and how they must come to terms with the fact that this accomplished musician truly finds her life unbearable. Toews writes in simple terms, at times in almost 'stream of consciousness' style, to paint for us the agony of the mentally ill and how their death wish impacts their loved ones. Toews' main characters have had a Mennonite upbringing and she describes how this more so unorthodox family must still face judgment from those who adhere more strictly to their religion. Death and dying with dignity, assisted suicide, travelling abroad to Switzerland for an assisted death are all concepts interwoven into this story of a sister inextricably linked to her sibling in her struggle to end her life in a non-tragic way. Toews writes with honesty and compassion. 'All my Puny Sorrows' is certainly a very personal and in depth look at what many families face regarding family members with 'mental illness' and that like any disease, we as a society must take a hard look at whether or not releasing people from their unbearable lives is a question of personal choice or not. If you are feeling the 'FALL blahs/blues, perhaps reading this will only make them MORE pronounced!

I always fall hard for the novels Miriam Toews writes and the characters she creates. A best selling author in Canada, most of her books involve individualistically inclined or exiled Mennonites balancing their traditional upbringing with the modern world in distinctive stories of personal struggle and family connection. The details about Mennonite culture and its fringes give the stories added interest and a strong sense of place, but it’s the characters that really set her novels apart. In All My Puny Sorrows one sister has it all. Elfrieda Von Riese has always been eccentric, passionate, talented and intense--a dances to her own drummer Mennonite--and now as an adult she’s a wealthy, beloved, beautiful, world acclaimed pianist in a wonderfully loving marriage, but in spite of all that goodness Elf is determined to kill herself, somehow never having developed a tolerance for living in the world. Her sister Yolandi, in contrast, is a twice divorced now single mother, drifting in and out of relationships and perennially broke, who desperately wants to keep Elf alive. “She wanted to die and I wanted her to live and we were enemies who loved each other.” It’s not a plotline that would normally attract me, and the story is more character than plot anyway, but Toews gives her characters such captivating, heart-piercing voices that I sank deep and only reluctantly put down this thoughtfully nuanced, non-condescending, family celebrating book. The title comes from a poem by Samuel Taylor Coleridge.

The story is interminable. Elf, the older sister, wants to die and wants Yoli, the younger to help her do it. That's a difficult subject--sad, frightening, awesome--but why? That's the main problem with this book. The characters are so well-drawn--interesting , unique, funny, idiosyncratic --a joy to read and to linger on Toews' words--I was curious to learn more, to follow them down their paths--but I never understood why Elf wanted to die and that was what made the book so difficult to read. Things could have happened in any sort of haphazard way because there wasn't enough of a plot to keep a story moving. And I suppose that Toews meant this to be an exploration of dying, which would have been fine but not as a story. I couldn't feel connected with the characters all that much which is a shame for such a beautifully written piece of prose.

This is a heartbreaking, wonderful book. I figured it would be sad, and perhaps difficult to read, but it was also very sweet and funny and so beautifully written I couldn't put it down. It deserves all the attention it has garnered. LOVED it. What a gem we have in Miriam Toews.

Splendido libro. Troppo dolore. E grande coraggio. Non credo di poter rileggerlo. Ma penso che il coraggio di tutti insegni a sopravvivere.

So, you're sisters, you grow up together. You're close. You share everything. You're honest with each other. You'll do everything you possibly can for each other. And then your sister asks you to help her commit suicide as, continuing living, is so terribly painful. Ah. Now, That's something different. Or is it? Elf and Yoli are sisters brought up in a Mennonite community although their parents are rather forward thinking. They support Elf with her musical career and she becomes a classical pianist. Yoli is a bit more staid/stable perhaps; relationships, children. They remain amazingly close. Their father commits suicide (that's a very small part of the story, just mentioned) and mum and, her sister and wider family, are also part of the story but the main characters are the sisters. Elf ends up admitted to hospital, yet again, having tried to take her own life. She's desperate; she can't bare the pain of carrying on living and asks Yoli to help her end her life. This is a beautifully written book. It's one of those books that I couldn't wait to read the next chapter and yet, now I've made it to the end, I'm sad that it's over. It makes you laugh, if makes you cry (well, I did anyway) and you feel that you get to know the sisters but also the rest of the family too. A wonderfully written book and an amazing read. I will have to explore more of Miriam Toews' books.

Heart wrenching true story brilliantly written, in many places very witty but it puts the reader on a journey to show both sides of mental illness, the anguish of family members and the pain and hopelessness the patient endures. I loved this book and can highly recommend it.

This book is amazing. I read it on Kindle, and now I need to go out and buy a copy so I can underline and re-read and dog-ear the pages. So beautifully written, so insightful, so heart-breaking and yet laugh-out-loud funny...this is quite simply a brilliant book.